Book Review: Locked-In Love by Key Barrett (NSFW)

Title: Locked-In Love

Author: Key Barrett

Publisher: Key Barrett Publishing

Publication Date: September 23, 2018

Genres: Non-Fiction

Shelves: Female-led, NSFW

When you pick up a book by Key Barrett you’re getting the benefit of both education and entertainment. You’re opening yourself to a man with a Masters of Science in Anthropology, one who has studied sexual subcultures around the world, giving him a unique grasp on the psychology of sexuality. At the same time, you’re putting yourself in the hands of a man who writes female-led-relationship erotica, and who has endeavored to ensure he has the experiences necessary to make his stories feel authentic.

It is that search for authenticity that brings us to Locked-In Love. Barrett freely admits he had a hard time understanding the appeal of chastity and was prepared to dismiss it as a fanciful aspect of female domination. He only chose to explore it as a professional experiment, simply to get a feel for the experience and help improve his fiction . . . but it quickly became something more.

The book serves as both a professional examination of chastity as an ideal and a personal exploration of chastity as an experience. The psychology behind it, particularly in regard to what Barrett refers to as the sexual barter system, is absolutely fascinating, but it was the talk of improved intimacy and communication that got my attention. By coming at it from outside any sort of female-led relationship, he opens the discussion to an even wider audience, demonstrating what it can mean to vanilla relationships as well. Interestingly, that fact is what made my Wife/Goddess hesitant about giving it a read, but I’ll get back to that.

It is the experience of chastity, captured through 2 weeks’ worth of daily journals (and accentuated by a Q&A session with his wife), that is the real attraction here. Barrett shares his thoughts and feelings, his doubts and expectations, his excitement and his second-thoughts, and gives us unfiltered access to how his attitude changed through the experience. We get his psychological insights into the experience of chastity, resulting in a book that really does carry the weight of authenticity. It is an experience that changes him and his relationship – for the better – and his own surprise over that is perhaps the most significant aspect of the read.

When I was done, I immediately knew this was a book I wanted to share with my Wife/Goddess, particularly for the psychology. Interestingly, the fact that Barrett was writing from outside a female-led relationship gave her pause, because she felt like a lot of the changes he talks about were things we were already experiencing, and she didn’t see how chastity would change anything. That questioning sparked the first of many great conversations over the last 3 weeks, and her agreeing to take it on as an experiment, complete with me starting a journal, is what changed us.

There were 3 key (no pun intended) lessons we took away from the book. First, it has opened up our communication, something with which I have always struggled. Keeping a journal has become part of my morning routine, capturing my thoughts before my mind has had a chance to filter and weigh and massage them, and discussing it has become our bedtime routine. Second, while the sexual bartering system that Barrett talks about has never really been a part of our relationship, the physical symbol of chastity has allowed my Wife/Goddess to acknowledge the absence of that system, empowering her to better avail herself of my submission without the guilt that was once attached. Lastly, and this was the biggest surprise for us both, the chastity experience has improved my overall mood and attitude. We’ve found that I am calmer, less stressed, and more patient when Locked-In Love, something we sort of tested and proved with a 3-day release in the middle of our experiment.

No matter your experience, relationship, or lifestyle, and regardless of whether you intend to experiment with chastity yourself, the experiences and insights here make this a book that’s well worth reading.

Rating: ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀

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